Dirty Sheets

Posts Tagged ‘things I cannot tell my mother’

1) Guys really do seem to be obsessed with size — as in, male authors tend to make sure you know exactly how big the guy's ('tagonist of whichever side or mere fucktoy) willy is. (Whenever I encounter things like that in my porn, I get this image of a person with a micrometer and a clipboard.) Female authors, on the other hand, not so much.

And Mr. Hanon is correct in that there are exceptions to this; I've seen at least two recently. 

2) In relation to the foregoing, the article about pegging mentions that anything going into the anus feels twice as large as it actually is. This makes me even more convinced that anyone who carries on about a cock two beer-cans* long and a tuna-can wide before it goes into an orifice has NO CLUE what that would actually feel like. (I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure I** couldn't accommodate something that freakin' huge. And I am dead certain none of my characters could, either.)

I'm relieved to hear that there are people out there who think over-the-top descriptions of outsized equipment on a dude are just silly — I was beginning to wonder if maybe some of my rejections were based on the fact that I've never actually lovingly described any of my guys' bits and pieces in excruciating detail. (And you know me, if I was going to be detailed, I'd be talking about millimeters and degrees of cant and that kind of thing. Heh.)

* By 'beer can' I mean your standard US 12 ounce can, not like a Foster's or a Heinekin mini-keg.

** Yeah, I know, there are men/women out there who take on things like the business end of a Louisville slugger, among other large, more-or-less phallic, items. This is why I make a point of I-statements — because I am the only one I can talk about with any kind of authority.