Dirty Sheets

Posts Tagged ‘pornography’

xkcd: Porn For Women.

This is awesome and must be passed around as much as possible, because, seriously. In my porn, people fuck. And they LIKE it.

A picture of a hirsute young man, masturbating and using a dildo/vibrator and a video of another, less-hairy guy doing the same thing with a buttplug instead.

I’m posting these here because I don’t often see men using toys. I mean, I know they do, since you can buy all sorts of things designed specifically for prostate massage and the like.

I wanted to mention the video specifically because the person who posted it (either the original poster to Xtube or the Tumblr poster) titled it with “str8″ guy plays with butt plug. This bothers me because last I knew whether you derive pleasure from having something in your ass wasn’t tied directly and irrevocably to your spot on the Kinsey scale.

The other thing about the video is that I didn’t watch the whole thing. It’s not because it’s bad, it’s just that, well… The guy pulls the buttplug out of his ass, and, as far as I can tell he LICKS it before he puts it back.

I’m a virgo and I’ve been through food-handler’s licensing twice. I can deal with rimming by telling myself over and over again that they’ve washed, but this was beyond the pale and I simply couldn’t go any further. It’s a squick I just won’t ever get over, and that’s okay. As ever, if you think it’s hot, by all means please enjoy yourself, but I beg you: DO NOT TELL ME about it. Okay? Thanks, I love you too.

Impetus Inconcessus.

This is simultaneously one of the most confusing and somewhat disturbing pictures I’ve seen in a long time. It’s not violent or gory or anything — it’s a rather arty black-and-white close-up shot of what looks like a stainless-steel manual orange juicer, being inserted into a woman’s vagina* — but all I can think of is that the juicer is likely cold and I KNOW it has a sharpish point and and and…

Yeah. So I think it’s strange, not arousing. But if you like it, knock yourself out!

* It only now occurs to me that, as only women posess vaginae, this is redundant. However, only mentioning the vagina by itself makes it sound as if there’s nothing else around, just this poor little orphan body part wandering around on its (her?) lonesome.

Hi. I’m Mausie and I am WEIRD.

I don’t need saccharine romantic story lines to get wet – I want to see relatable people and fucking. When I look at porn, I want to see people getting sweaty, aroused, smiling and laughing, being “imperfect”, and in realistic locations and situations, not a “fantasy hay loft where the muscular stable boy makes sweet gentle love to me while never ruffling my feathered hair.”

- via sex is not the enemy.

“Frat buddies in bed” fromgayforit.com, via eroticoddities.

It’s about 20 minutes long, and the first half is by turns sweet/tender and creepy. The second half is just straightforward wanking, though it does feature something I’ve never seen before — a guy not-quite-fingering himself.

The first half is creepy due to the fact that guy A is jerking off to guy B, except that B happens to be asleep (theoretically). A moves the blanket, pulls down B’s undies, kisses his shoulder/neck, and touches his ass… But B is asleep, so he can’t consent to any of it, which is what strikes me as creepy.

The sweetness comes in because A moves slowly, touches him gently, and when he’s done, he covers B up again. It’s weird, and it makes me feel odd because on the one hand, non-con; on the other, he’s not hurting the guy… But it’s not healthy to excuse non-con behavior and and and…

On the other other hand, it’s freakin’ porn. It’s probably staged as all get-out, and we can assume that the participants have consented to what happens. Also, I’m probably thinking WAY too hard/much about this.

The M/M video embedded in this post at Wanking Material is forty-five minutes long. Not every one of them is hot, but a LOT of them are.

It’s also a rather unique video in that I saw the following, none of which I’d ever encountered before:
– During the requisite blowjob portion, the guy going down went too far, gagged, and had to take a moment to wipe his eyes before getting back to it.
– Fingering! One and two! Seriously, you almost NEVER see prep in anal videos.
– The bottom’s cock was dripping.
– When it was the dark-haired guy’s turn to bottom, it sounded like he asked the light-haired guy to come in his ass. (I could have misheard him. I’ll be watching this again, eventually, so I’ll check. The top didn’t, of course, because that would have been entirely too novel for a porn vid.)

Some caveats, before you run off to watch it:
– The camera-work is SERIOUSLY amature. There’s one point at which the cameraman just about turns himself inside out to avoid getting more of the lighting equipment in the shot (never mind that about a minute and a half before he didn’t notice that he’d gotten the bases of the lights…); then not too long after that there’s a dizzying shot that basically shows off the entire room.
– Some of the editing is irritating, too. The only cut that I have any real issue with is the one that occurs at about the thirty-minute mark, because it made me feel cheated.
– If you’re like me and DO NOT WANT to hear anyone except the performers, be warned that there’s at least one instance (around the 35 minute mark or so) of someone off-screen telling them what to do. (I had to mute the first 25 minutes, so I don’t know about the rest of it.)

Points Of Interest:
– No music, if you like/hate that kind of thing.
– Check out the clock on the wall above the loveseat – it’s either broken or doesn’t have a battery.
– Lube! (On the hearth.)
– Really odd/eclectic decor. Not horrible, just unusual.

I don’t spend a lot of time reading news. Most of it is entirely too infuriating — horrible disgusting things happening around the world that I am powerless to do anything to stop or change — so I stay away from it. Occasionally, though, I do go delving into the world of news because I’m too curious. I almost always regret doing so.

For example, the idea that some witmidget thinks that it’s a GOOD IDEA to tell pre-adolescent (yeah, read it again, it says pre-adolescent) boys that “porn will turn [you] gay” drives me right up the motherfucking wall. (See that word? I almost NEVER use it. Yeah.) I want to find this man and hurt him, which is really not a constructive or adult response, but… His thinking is so vile and so evil that it just- All rationality goes right out the window. (I won’t, of course, because I A) am a grown-up and B) really fucking broke. Also C) my mother won’t bail me out.)

On the other hand, I also found this article about kids who choose to come out in middle school, which is heartening and a little bit heartbreaking all at the same time. Two of the more interesting points of it, for me, was the fact that mothers seem to be the most supportive/sympathetic and that I was once again confronted with the fact that my school experience is not common to all people, DUH.

I was thinking, ‘my God, isn’t 11/12/13 waaaaaaay too young for this kind of thing? I didn’t start noticing people until I was- Oh. Oh, yeah, right.’ And, actually, I did have a couple of crushes when I was about that age, so maybe I’m actually less-weird than I think I am. *Waves a hand* I still think 13 is waaaaaay too young to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but that’s less a I’m-weird thing and more of a parenting-choice thing, so.

So I’ve got this strange thing happening here in my head. Here’s how it goes:

– Filament Magazine needs more money so they can switch to a publisher who’ll print pictures of guys with erections.

– I have, in the past, not been terribly excited about Filament, due to the whole ‘let’s objectify everyone!’ thing.

– I watch porn. I like watching porn (or at least I like watching the good porn that I’ve found).

– If I could, I would start my own porn company that specializes in the kind of stuff that I find hot.

– Most people tend to agree that porn objectifies people. (I think sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends.)

– So if I like/watch/want to create porn AND I do NOT like/want to objectify anyone… Why haven’t I been rendered incapable of coherent thought by the cognitive dissonance?

Maybe I’m a terrible feminist? Maybe I’m more flexible in my thinking than I first suspected? Maybe it’s just that I’m confused? It’s very strange.

– I like to look at the junk in the background of clips. Sometimes it’s because I recognize things (“Hey! That [item] is from Ikea! Hee!”); other times it’s because I can’t figure out what the hell I’m looking at (“Is that a lamp? No, it’s surfboard. No, that’s a surfboard; that other thing’s a lamp. I think.”); and sometimes it’s because I really like whatever it is (“I really wish I know how to find out where they got that [whatever]“).

– I watched a clip with loud cheesy music. It almost drowned out the bedspread.

– Saw a clip that was edited to the point where I was muttering at the guys to hurry up and come already, because it was so cliff-hangery. They did, but on their own schedule. This clip also made me re-evaluate my feelings about the top coming on the bottom’s face, because they managed to make it look hot instead of just kinda bleh.

– I think my guy-orgasms are possibly very wrong. Since I am watching porn, I’m also not inclined to trust that the sex I’m watching is accurately portrayed — plus everyone’s different, so.

– In the clip with the surfboard-that-wasn’t-a-lamp, there was a mild editing hiccup and, for the first time in the history of ever (at least for my porn-watching career), there was lube! No prep, outside of a rubber and the lube, but it’s more than I’ve seen before.

– Saw a clip that started off hot and veered sharply into ‘Okay, SERIOUSLY Creepy!’ territory — the top had this ribbon/leather thong/something around his wrist, and while he was fucking the bottom, he untied it. Then he pulled the bottom’s hands back and tied them together, without so much as a ‘do you mind?’. From what I could tell, the guy could have escaped pretty easily, and in the next shot it looked like the restraint had come undone, but it was still borderline non-con which sat weirdly with me.

– The above clip was all in French, which was cool. I couldn’t really hear the dialogue, what there was of it, but the bits I could hear I understood!

– Saw another clip in German, I think, featuring cute but painfully skinny boys. I wanted to watch them eat sandwiches instead of fuck. It had subtitles!

– The surfboard clip also made me feel somewhat better about Herbert’s SoC sex-talk. I’d like to think that Herbert’s sounds a little more natural, though.

Because everything dirty’s better in French. *Eyebrow wiggle* (…And yeah, I know, that can mean ‘kiss me, please’; I remember when the movie of nearly the same name came over here and there was a discussion of how you were actually supposed to interpret/translate the title.)

Seriously, though, I do find myself more inclined to wear shirts that say things like ‘baisez moi’ or ‘casse-toi cherie’ if they’re in French. I kind of like the idea behind the shirts at Locher’s, but aside from the casse-toi shirt and the one that reads ‘just* good boys get presents‘, I wouldn’t wear any of them. It’s entirely me — either I don’t like the shape or the cut or the colors or the design. (And besides, with my linebacker’s shoulders, I doubt they’d fit.)

However, they do have some accessories that I’d wear in a heartbeat (and some that are perfect for someone else I know. Hee.):

– Try me. I dare you.
– I love everyone! *Smooch*
– I don’t play nice. (This would be one of those perfect for someone else, because I am Miss Marshmallow.)
– Not domesticated (“All you had to do was vaccuum!” “I hate housework.” “Ten stroke for you, then.” “Yes, Miss.”)
– And of course the foregoing falls under the heading of this one: Fun And Games!

One of the more interesting things about the pictures on those pendents is the fact that most of them have the women’s eyes covered with black bars. I’m pretty sure that was a ’60’s porn/BDSM mag convention, but it strikes me as being very… Instead of “protecting” her identity, it’s taking it away. It’s not quite as bad as photographing or taping porn/erotic stuff and physically framing the shots to keep the head(s)/face(s) out of the picture, but it’s still odd. That’s an entire post on its own, though, so I’ll stop there.

* ARGH. ONLY! ONLYONLYONLY! Only good boys! Aaaaaaaaaigh! *Ahem* I’m better, now.