Dirty Sheets

Posts Tagged ‘National Masturbation Month’

I've only written one thing for National Masturbation Month (to date, anyhow). Next month is Pride, and I have a couple ideas for it already, but… I'm kind of miffed with myself about having missed most of May. 

Speaking of Pride, a local movie house is going to be showing Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert — I need to remember to get myself a ticket. 

Via Warren Ellis — tell the world that you’re not ashamed of your onanastic ways: liberal masturbator shirts (and more).

I just realized that it’s May, next month. And you know what that means… *Grins at various couples/trios/quads, most of whom pointedly look the other way* *Sigh* Fine, be that way. See if _you_ get off any time in the next couple of weeks.

One-Word Summary: Raaaaaaandom!

Traditional Author’s Notes:
– Yes, another National Masturbation Month wank-piece. So far, I like the one I did featuring Kelvath the best. This one’s not bad, though — I don’t really like the ending, but I may be able to fix that.
– This wasn’t really inspired by anything in particular, though it is something of an offshoot of the whole Herbert Is Afraid Of Finch’s Catalog thing.
– I think that Herbert’s just trying to deny that actually yeah, he is interested in giving BSDM a try, at least when it comes to him dominating Finch. His reluctance to acknowledge his interest in that kind of kink is causing him a few problems, not the least of which is that he loses/cedes control of things entirely too easily. *Pats him, gets glared at* Dingbat.
– The full title of the catalog is ‘SubSpace: Decorating To Please’. Years ago, I ran across someone talking about having their mind in ’subspace’ while not actually engaged in D/S play or a D/S relationship (I thiiiiiink), and the idea stuck with me… The catalog was mentioned in IHNI 02, but at that time I had no definite idea as to what the publication actually was. Then I was reading a Restoration Hardware catalog last month and things just kinda fell into place. Anyhow!

Warnings:
– Lots of bad words!
– Consenting adult males engaged in explicit sexual activity!
– Consenting adult males getting tied up without discussing safety beforehand! (However, Finch -did- agree to get tied up, so at least there’s that. *Sigh* See above re: Herbert and kink.)
– Rambling!
– Characters doing what they want to do instead of what I want them to do! (Particularly near the beginning. Gah.)
– That’s pretty much it!

You know the drill.

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This wasn’t what I was expecting — mostly because the pairings I’d had in mind were pairings that had reason to spend time masturbating instead of having sex with one another: Kesiir/Dythnaali, Finch/Herbert, Pers/Cordialis. However, after rereading the whole Kelvath/Avrath thing (which I think I need to rewrite. Again. Well, pieces of it, anyhow, and I digress.), this popped into my head almost fully-formed. Since that doesn’t happen very often, I wrote it down instead of ignoring it, and I’m glad I did.

Without further ado:

Notes:
– The Havothi culture is a little more advanced than ancient Roman culture. Plus, they have magic. Thus plumbing, warm running water, valves, and no death-by-lead-poisioning-from-said-plumbing. Their plumbing isn’t -indoor-, they’ve not quite gotten that far, but it’s better than nothing.
– Avrath went out of town, probably something to do with their military service. When I asked, Kelvath grumped something about ’stupid bureacracy’. I promise that nothing bad will happen to him.
– I have GOT to write about/draw floor plans for The Temple Of Water. The Tashtelten people are apparently elementalists — I’m still not sure just how serious they are when it comes to worshipping the elements, though.
– The ToW happens to be about fifteen to twenty miles down the coast from the border, and Kelvath and Avrath only live about five miles over the Havothi side of the line, so it’s really easy for them to go down there. The hard part is finding someone to look after the house and the garden and the goat(s?) and the chickens while they’re gone.

Warnings:
None, really. Only one real bad word. May not be safe for work if your boss can read over your shoulder very easily. Since I wrote this as part of National Masturbation Month, it’s, y’know, a guy masturbating.

So, that said, you know the drill: Enjoy, Or Something.

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I need to go back to doing my 3-A-Day thing, because this isn’t exactly what I was aiming for. It turned out okay, I think — okay enough that I don’t cringe when I reread it (well, except for one little part and I can’t figure out how to fix it, but…), anyhow. And I think the part that I don’t like (see previous aside) is more due to the characters showing more autonomy than they usually do, which makes me happy. I think. I hope so, anyhow.

ANYhow.

Notes:
– May is National Masturbation Month. As far as I can recall, I have not written anything for NMM, ever. I think it’s time to correct that… Not that this story really does, mind you.
– The ‘first time’ in this piece referrs to the first time Caleb took The Pill and had sex in female form.
– I read somewhere that olive oil was some of the first lube that humanity used. Makes perfect sense to me…

Warnings:
All the usual: transforming/gender-swap M-to-F; pronouns inconsistant with visible gender*; bad words, sex. NSFW, NSFC, NSFP.

* Look, there’s just really no good way to make the name ‘Caleb’ feminine. Besides, he says he doesn’t feel like a girl, so he wouldn’t refer to himself with feminine pronouns, so… Who am I to argue?

Anyhow, it’s after the cut. Enjoy, Or Something.

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