Dirty Sheets

Archive for May, 2009

Especially in this strip. (My absolute favorite though is this one, with the Ellicot-Chatham Home For Widowed Drumsticks.)

(And yes, that’s where Master Segretti’s secretary’s name comes from.)

Questionable Content: Can’t Order One Of Those With A Straight Face

The last panel is the bit that gets it shunted over here. Plus it gives me Ideas. *Giggle* *Ahem*

Via Warren Ellis — tell the world that you’re not ashamed of your onanastic ways: liberal masturbator shirts (and more).

NB/WARNING: The second half of this post involves fetishes relating to bodily functions of the scatological type. It’s cut to spare the uninterested, but warnings about what comes after the jump are always good, right?

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First:

So I was reading wtf_fa (because it makes me feel better about the way I draw), and one of the atrocities was accompanied by a link to a site that was essentially a Cafe Press store with its own domain. I clicked on the ‘Mature’/BDSM* link because it happened to be first and because I was hoping for something interesting or amusing. There was at least one phrase that I liked – various items emblazoned with “I’ve been very good and I deserve a spanking.” and a red hand-print, but there was little to no effort put into any of the designs. The I’ve been good… designs were all in Comic Sans and left-justified. A lot of the other text-only designs were the same way, with only a variant in font setting them apart from anything else.

I’m not saying that people have to come up with some sort of tricked-out thing that only someone in the graduate-school level of graphic design could pull off, but I am saying that Comic Sans is NOT something that inclines me to buy a product. There are zillions of free fonts online; sure, most of the designers may say ‘no commercial use!’ but if you ask nicely lots of them would probably say it was okay to use on a T-shirt for you and your friends. They may want one for themselves, or a picture or something. If you can’t come up with a free or pay font that you like/are able to use, at least choose a nicer font that looks a little less childish.

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The second one is beyond the fold.

Read the rest of this entry »

From my Quote Of The Day gadget:

It never hurts to ask. Unless you ask for hurt.
– Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata

These may find their way into something, sooner or later. Fiction, most likely, but “my hands” would be nice, too.

Apparently, Nerve.com is going to be changing, and it doesn’t sound good.

From the article:

Nerve “is going to be a smart [online] magazine that covers sex, dating, relationships, entertainment and all things of interest for a growing readership” of single adults, says new CEO Sean Mills, who was most recently President of the arch humor outpost The Onion.

The most significant change to Nerve, which launched in 1997, will be in how little nudity will be on the revamped site. Mills said that Nerve’s premium and members-only photo archives, which contain many photos that display substantial expanses of naked skin, will be spun off into a new, as-yet-untitled external subscription site.

Ecstagony has quite a bit of BDSM-related stuff, including but not limited to a dictionary of implements of punishment. The very quick overview I managed looked pretty good; I’ll have to come back to it later.

So, while rereading something I’d sent to Mari, I happened to notice that one of the ads along the edge of it was for ‘Mistress’ stuff at Cafe Press. So, I took a look, just to see… Some of the stuff isn’t anything I’d ever buy or wear (a junior’s spaghetti-strap tank reading ‘Mistress’ toilet’ with an arrow pointing upward? Really? Um, EW, for several reasons.), but some things are making me wish I’d not spent all of my vacation money on, well, vacation.

For instance, there’s a shirt reading “There WILL be pain involved. But only if you ask nicely.” Or you can wear the definition of ’submissive’ on your chest. Tell the world how much She Who Must Be Obeyed means to you with a bumpersticker. Fair warning for the rest of your household… And sometimes, the safest thing to do is just smile and say ‘Yes, Mistress!’. I think my favorite thing, so far, is the various items emblazoned with “Everything means another spanking.” (Though I have to say that I’d have put ‘everything’ in all caps or in italics while the rest was in plain text, but that’s just me.)

Some things are badly spelled, or poorly punctuated, but there are gems to be found.

I don’t know if it’s a meds imbalance or if I’m gearing up for a really lovely bout of PMS or if it’s just the annoying headache I’ve got, but I’ve been more irked by commenters on Sim Secret tonight than I have been in a LONG time. Specifically regarding this secret:

Some asshole said:

[Secret Number] Someone doesn’t know how to have sex. Guess what, not opening your legs is even better than having them open when it goes in. VIRGIN.

Sure, you could interpret the text that way, but why would you? The idea behind that particular pose is that those sims are supposed to be having sex; it would look more like actual sexual intercourse if her legs were open/wrapped around him (and if they were naked, but that’s a different complaint altogether). It has nothing to do with what “feels better” or whether someone’s a virgin or not. I fucking HATE assholes like this, who assume that because someone has never done something they couldn’t possibly have an opinion about that same thing one way or another.

I’ve never gone winter-camping, but I already know I wouldn’t enjoy it. Why the fuck should I have to do it before I make that declaration? It combines two of my least favorite things, winter and camping, so of course I’m not going to enjoy it! Would I find it more arousing and somewhat more realistic if her legs were open? Yes. Does it matter that I’ve never tried sex in the position depicted? No.

* And while this has never happened to me, either, I’m also certain that I would not enjoy it, either.